I have often found myself warning other believers not to associate with unbelievers.  To not make friends with the lost and to stay away from those living in sin.  It is a stern warning, backed by Scripture, that is often rejected or disputed against.  Why?  Because of comfort.  Because of ease.  Because of a desire to make friends and fit in.  But the Scriptures are very clear that we are to have nothing to do with them and that being friends with them will lead to our destruction.  But the desire to be liked and wanted often overrides the warnings and people justify themselves by quoting verses that show that Jesus “ate with the sinners.”  They then use those verses to justify their friendship with ungodly people and lead themselves into many sorrows and hurts.

The Scriptures are very clear that if we associate with unbelievers, their evil habits will wear off on us and soon we will be participating in their sin.  In addition to that, we risk convincing them (whether consciously or unconsciously) that their sins aren’t that bad and that they will be ok on judgment day.  The whole idea of ‘friendship evangelism’ just doesn’t work.  When you take pure water (the saved Saint) and oil (the lost sinner), and you try to mix them, the pure water does not clean the oil.  Rather, the oil dirties the pure water.  So it is with us.  You cannot be around sin for long before it starts to rub off on you.

So with that said, I thought I would simply go through the Bible and examine the Scriptures that show that we are to be separate from the lost.  And then I will also examine the Scriptures that show Jesus and Saints associating with the lost.  I think if we will submit to the Scriptures, it will be easy to see how we are supposed to act in regards to this issue.  I’ll simply quote the Scripture and then add a few thoughts on it.  Let me begin:

John 17:16 “They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.”

This is the Scripture section where Jesus is praying to the Father for His people.  He makes a clear distinction between the ‘world’ (the lost, unsaved and unregenerated) and the Saints (the redeemed and saved).  We are not of the world.  Meaning, we have no part in it.  We are not to associate with it.  All people are divided into two classes.  The world and Saints (not of the world).  If people are ‘of the world’ they belong to a different class.  A different kingdom.  They are not our people.  They are not our family.  We are to be aliens and pilgrims among them.  Separate and distinct.  To associate with them, to befriend them, is to make friends with an enemy.  The Scriptures tell us that friendship with the world is enmity with God.  We cannot be members of both Kingdoms.  Its one or the other.  Jesus said that you’re either with Him, or against Him.

John 15:19 “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.”

Being a member of Jesus Christs Kingdom, comes with natural attributes.  Proofs that show you truly are His.  One of those proofs is that the world (its people) will hate you, not befriend you.  We are of the Light, they are of the dark.  Darkness hates the light.  There is no friendship between Christ and Belial, our King and their king.  If we are at ease and in friendships with the lost world, it is a dangerous sign that perhaps we do not belong to Christ!  For if we were His, by nature, the lost world would hate us!  Why?  Because Light exposes the hidden things of the dark!  The Light of Christ in us, will cause us to oppose and rebuke the sinful behaviors and activities that those of the dark love.  And because of that, they will hate us.  They will not be comfortable being around us, and will flee from us or persecute us.  They will not be able to remain ‘friends’ with us.

2^nd Corinthians 6:14-18 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in [them]; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean [thing]; and I will receive you,18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”

Here we find THE single clearest section of Scriptures on this issue.  Christ makes crystal clear distinctions between the two worlds.  We are to have nothing to do with the lost world.  We are to be separate and to not even ‘touch’ the unclean things.  This COMMAND is set with an assurance.  IF we separate ourselves and become distinct from the world, THEN Christ will receive us and be our Father.  By implication, if we do NOT separate ourselves and remain friends with the world, then Christ will NOT receive us and will NOT be our Father.

James 4:4 “Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.”

Tying in with the last section of Scriptures, we find this parallel verse that is equally as impactful. It specifically tells us that if we want to be friends with the ‘world’ (those who belong to this worldly kingdom), then we are enemies of God.  There are only two paths.  Two camps.  You belong to one or the other.  You cannot have a foot in both Kingdoms.  If you want the friendship of the world, then you are at war with God.  But if you love God, His light in you will automatically put you at odds with the kingdom of darkness.  You will have no friendship with the enemy camp.

Ephesians 5:11 “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”

Here again is another basic and straightforward verse that makes it crystal clear what our response is supposed to be in regards to this topic.  We are to have NO fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness (those that belong to the kingdom of darkness).  The lost only sin continually.  That is what the old nature is.  It is a sinful nature, full of pride, lust, greed, sex, lies, violence, debauchery, etc.  We are not supposed to be around that type of behavior.  Even if your lost friends are supposedly “good people,” their nature is sinful.  Their hearts, desires and thoughts are sinful.  Everything they do is not of faith and is therefore sin.  We are supposed to separate from that, and REPROVE IT (expose it, shine light on it, etc.).  That is why the darkness hates us, because we expose their sin, we don’t ignore it and make friends with it.

2^nd Timothy 3:2-5 “ For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,³ Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,⁴ Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;⁵ Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.”

And this is what those ‘unfruitful works of darkness’ look like.  Men of the world, those of the dark kingdom, have Adamite natural hearts and desires of wickedness (just like we used to).  They are selfish, proud, and blasphemers.  They are liars and violent and hateful.  Proud and sensual.  We are to have NOTHING to do with that!  We are supposed to ‘turn away’ from it.  To separate from it.  To be distinct and set apart.

Romans 16:17 “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”

Here we see that anyone who stands in opposition to the doctrines of the Holy Scriptures, are to be identified and avoided.  Those who rail against the teachings of the Scriptures, are enemies of the faith and not only should not be friended, but they should be avoided all together!  All unbelievers fit in this category.  Whether they are hard-core atheists who attack, or passive unbelievers who reject the authority of the Scriptures over their lives, they are in opposition to the Scriptures and therefore are to be seen as enemies, not friends.

2^nd Thessalonians 3:14 “And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.”

Here, just like in the previous verse, we are told that anyone who does not obey the Scriptures, is to be noted and avoided.  The hope here is that by our disassociation with the person, they will be ashamed and come to their senses.  We learn an important lesson here.  When we associate with those who reject God and His Word (Not just those who SAY they reject Him, but those whose lives SHOW that they reject Him), we comfort them in their disbelief and sin.  We assure them on a subconscious level that they are ok and need not fear the coming judgment.  But if we reject fellowship with them, telling them, “I’m sorry, but I can’t have anything to do with you because of your life, habits and behaviors,” there is hope that they will feel shame for rejecting truth, they will see the error of their ways and will turn to Christ!

2^nd John 1:10-11 “If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:¹¹ For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.”

Not only are we to avoid those who reject the teachings of the Bible, but we aren’t even supposed to welcome them into our homes or “wish them well” when they depart!  I often think of the Mormons or Jehovah Witnesses who come to your door.  We are not supposed to even let them in!  So it should be with all unbelievers who reject the Bible as their authority.  We should not be having meals with them, celebrating with them, playing games with them, etc.  We should not even ‘pour blessings’ upon them with our words!  Rather, their ought to be a seriousness when dealing with them, understanding in fear and trembling that the wrath of God abides on them and may drop upon them at any moment!  We should fear even being near them when the sudden destruction drops upon them, and should despise (despise as in being repulsed and fearful of the wrath of God, not as in thinking we are better than them) even their clothing!

1^st Corinthians 15:33 “ Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”

I think that it is a good rule of thumb, that anytime the Scripture says something like “Be not deceived,” we ought to pay extra careful attention.  For this is obviously an issue that causes much deception and needs a warning attached to it.  It is something that obviously tricks and leads astray many.  So in this verse, we find that the deception is in WHO WE ASSOCIATE WITH!  If we hang out and befriend the lost world, those of the dark kingdom, we WILL have our good manners corrupted.  Our attempts at walking in holiness and righteousness WILL be thwarted.  For that is what evil associations (communications) do.  They corrupt our good habits.  Hanging around with people with sinful Adamite natures, WILL cause us to lose our good morals.  It WILL corrupt and rot our righteous living and habits.  Soon we will find ourselves just like them.

Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:²⁵ Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

This verse is very similar to the previous, only it identifies certain types of sin.  If we make friends with sinners (in this case an angry and furious man), then we will become like him and end up trapped.  His ‘evil communication’ will corrupt our good habits.

Proverbs 13:20 “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

Psalm 14 tells us who the “fool” is.  The person who says that there is no God.  The denier of truth.  So if we become companions with the unbelievers, we will be destroyed.  It’s a logical outcome for the previous verse.  If we associate with the lost, their evil and unfruitful works will eventually rub off on us and corrupt our holiness.  As such, the wages of sin is death, so that death and destruction will eventually creep up on us and we will be destroyed.

Psalm 1:1 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.”

In opposition to that destruction, we find blessings for those who avoid fellowship with the lost.  If we don’t ‘walk’ in their counsel, that is, if we don’t follow their advice, live after their morals, follow their examples, then we will be blessed, or favored by God.  In addition, if we don’t “stand” in their way, that is, linger with them, hang out among them, go where they go, then we will also find the blessings of the Lord.  And finally, if we avoid ‘sitting in their seat,’ which is what naturally happens if we walk after and stand among them.  Soon, their evil communications have corrupted our good morals and we not only go where they go and hang out where they hang out, but we actually sit in their seat and scorn just like they scorn!

Psalm 26:4-5 “I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers.⁵ I have hated the congregation of evil doers; and will not sit with the wicked.”

The righteous Psalmist here is telling us one of the ways in which a Saint should conduct himself.  He stays away from sinful people and hates their gatherings.  He will not go to the places of the wicked.  So should it be with us.

Romans 12:9 “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.”

We see a clear distinction here in that we are to “abhor,” that is to be repulsed by and to turn from in disgust, that which is evil, and ‘cleave’ to, that is cling to, adhere to, that which is good.  That which is evil would be the world.  The kingdom of darkness and all its people.  Those children of Adam whose hearts are full of wickedness.  That which is good would be the children of righteousness.  Those of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.  We should turn in repulsion from all that is evil and desperately cling to all that is good.

1^st John 1:7 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

If we walk in the Light, that is, if we are members of that Kingdom, then we have FELLOWSHIP with one another (other members of that Kingdom).  By implication, we do NOT have fellowship with those that are NOT members of that Kingdom.  Pretty straight forward.

1^st Corinthians 5:2 “And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.”

Here we find a man that had committed sexual sin.  Paul chastises the church that they have not separated from this man!  Rather than sorrow and grieve over the sin, they have accepted this man and his sin, and keep association with him.  Instead this man should have been removed from fellowship.

2^nd Timothy 2:19 “Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”

I think there are two senses in which we are to ‘depart from iniquity.’  One is internal, the other external.  Internally, we are to turn from and abhor our own sinful desires of the old flesh.  And externally, we are to turn from and abhor the sinful actions of the world.  We should be repulsed and in Godly fear over the sins of the world.  We should want nothing to do with them and should want to stay as far away as possible.  Sins are like poison, or like the fruit of the tree in the garden.  We need to stay away and keep our eyes off of it.  It is a shame to even SPEAK of those things, let alone surround ourselves with them.  If we call ourselves Christians, we need to depart from every form of iniquity.

In addition to separating from the world, we are also told to separate from those who say that they are of our Kingdom, but show evidences of wicked fruit.  We are to stay separate from sin in all cases.  The following verses show this:

1^st Corinthians 5:11 “But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.”

Pretty straightforward verse.  We have already seen that we are to stay away from the worldlings whose hearts and actions are full of sins, but now we see that we are to also stay away from brothers (whether real or fake) that live in sin.

2^nd Thessalonians 3:6 “Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.”

In addition to the outward sinful behaviors of a so-called brother, we are also to stay away from the brothers who do not submit to the authority of the Scriptures.  Those who act disorderly and in opposition to orthodox church tradition.

Titus 3:10 “A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject;”

A heretick is someone who opposes the basic tenants of Christianity.  Someone who stands against sound, Biblical doctrine.  Men sometimes fall into error, so we are not told to immediately reject someone who holds false teaching.  Instead we are to admonish them.  And if they fail to repent, we are to come again with an additional admonition.  But if after this, the person remains in error, we are to separate from them.

So now what about all the times Jesus ate with the sinners?  Or when the Apostles went among the heathen.  Do those verses and events somehow negate ALL the verses we have already looked at?  Of course not.  And I think when you examine those verses, you find a common theme.  Lets look at those verses:

Luke 15:2 “And the Pharisees and scribes murmured, saying, This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them.”

Here, Jesus is among the sinners.  He is dinning with them and sitting in their company!  Surely this goes against the separation doctrine, right?  Even the Pharisees and scribes were offended!  But look at the context.  Jesus says in the next few verses that He is looking for sheep!  He is in the mission field!  He has gone out into the masses in order to preach the Gospel in the hopes that lost sheep will be found.  A fisher must go where there are fish, but he does not become the fish. 

We are not to befriend and associate and hang out with lost people for the sake of friendship.  But we ARE to go among them with the Gospel!  We desire to see them join our Kingdom!  We desire to see them changed and turned into our fellowship!  But we cannot embrace them before that happens.  We simply go fishing for them!  We go among them, searching for lost sheep.  We are not of the world, but we are in this world, and while here, we are to be used by our King to go and gather other sheep.  Sheep that are lost, just like we once were.  So we go preaching, evangelizing and searching for the lost.  We don’t go making friends and hanging out and trying to fit in.

Matthew 9:11 “And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?”

Again we see Jesus among the lost, eating and drinking with them!  Why?  He goes on to explain that the sick (the lost) are the ones that need a Physician.  He is seeking to ‘heal.’  He is there for evangelistic purposes.

1^st Corinthians 9:19-23 “ For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.²⁰ And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;²¹ To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.²² To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.²³ And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.”

Here we see Paul doing the same thing as Jesus.  He is going among the lost Jews.  He is going among the lost heathen.  But why?  That he might “save some!”  He is doing this for the “gospels sake.”  Paul is not befriending the lost and associating with them for social purposes.  He is not going in and participating among their revelries.  He is seeking out and saving the lost sheep!  He is going to the masses WITH THE GOSPEL in the hopes that some might be saved.

Acts 1:8 “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.”

Like Paul and Jesus, we ALL are to become witnesses to the entire world.  We are strangers and pilgrims, not fitting in and not participating in their wicked behaviors.  But we are among them, preaching the Gospel, sharing our testimonies, spreading the Light of Jesus Christ, hoping that some might be saved.  If we just go among the lost for friendship, and we don’t preach the Gospel to them, we are neglecting our duty, disobeying our King, and seeking the approval and friendship of the world.  When we are in the midst of the lost, we need to be presenting the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Their only hope of escaping their dark kingdom.

John 17:16-18 “They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.¹⁷ Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.¹⁸ As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.”

He sends us into the world in the same way that He was sent into the world.  To seek and save the lost.  Not to make friends with the dark.

So the bottom line is, we are supposed to come out from the world and be separate from it.  If you are born again, you are a new creation with a new nature.  This new nature hates what is evil and loves what is good.  It is drawn towards the things of God and away from the things of the world.  We abhor the old sinful nature and all its various parts.  We turn from it in repulsion.  Not because we are better than those who do such things (How could we be?  We were just like them until grace stepped in.), but because we know the wrath of God that abides on such things.  We tremble and fear before our King, knowing that He could bring wrath upon sin at any moment.  So we turn from it in horror and avoid all appearances of it.  That is what our calling is!  That is what being “holy” is.  It is being set apart and separated.  We are now distinct from the world and should want nothing to do with it.

Yes, we pity those who are still stuck in it.  But because of their lifestyles and behaviors, we can have nothing to do with them!  We fear for them and plead with them to come out.  We go to them in hopes of winning them to Christ through the power of the Gospel, but we do not walk, stand or sit with them.  We go to ‘fish’ for them and pull them to safety, not to be among them and do the things they do.

If you are friends with the world and its people, if you associate with the lost, you ought to check your heart.  Are you really His?  Have you been called out?  Your new nature should abhor the things of this lost world!  How can you sit among it in comfort?  Come out from them!  Have nothing to do with them! 

The word “holy” means to be set apart for God.  To be distinct.

1^st Peter 1:16 “Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”